Never Lost - Daniel Boon

I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. Daniel Boone

Women are always saying that men can't confess to being lost. Now I never really have that problem, I just like to solve the problem on my own.

How Men Think

1. Men are not mind readers.
2. Learn to Work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. we need it up. You need it down. You don’t hear us complain when you leave it down.
3. Crying is blackmail
4. As for what you want. Let us be clear on this on.  
5. Subtle hints do not work!
6. Strong Hints do not work!
7. Obvious hinds to do not work!
8. Just say it!
9. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
10. Come to us with problems only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, al comments become null and void after 7 days.
12. If you think your fat you probably are. Don’t ask us.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry we meant the other one. 
14. One can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. I you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to do during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did not need direction and neither do we.
17. All men see in only 17 colours, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, Not a colour. pumpkin is also a vegetable or fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
18. If ask what is wrong and you say, Nothing,” we act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 
19. I you ask a question you don’t want an answer to. Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, really
21. Don’t ask what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or mortar sports.
22. You have enough clothes
23. You have to many shoe
24. I am in shape, round is a shape

Thank You for reading this, Yes, I know, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight...but did you know men don't mind that? It's like camping....